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5 days into Treatment

Today marks the 5th day of treatment for me. In the past few days I haven't had much pain other than the irritation in my mouth. It isn't bad enough to stop me from eating completely, but it is bad enough to stop me from eating specific foods. For example I couldn't eat pineapple slices or V8 juice because it irritated the salivary glands under my tongue so much. Rinsing my mouth with a solution of 1 quart of water, and 1 teaspoon of baking soda, and salt every hour or so seems to help a lot. One thing that is taking me a while to get used to is taking so many pills throughout the day. On Friday I took like 18 pills in one day! It doesn't help that I'm terrible at taking pills too. I'm having a very difficult time with the potassium chloride pills because they are so large and taste so bad, so I'm going to make a switch to the liquid version this week. I only skipped one dosage on the potassium pills so far, but with the sores in my mouth getting worse; it will become increasingly difficult to take them as time progresses.

Yesterday I had a lot of anxiety and didn't sleep that well last night as a result. One dream that I had last night that may sound funny to hear it now, but was absolutely terrifying last night, went like this...
I went to get my second dosage of chemo and was denied my treatment because the doctors said that I didn't have any veins. They were so freaked out by it that they told me to leave the hospital and to never come back. I tried to come back for the next treatment, and the doors were locked and I couldn't get into the hospital. Before I woke up from the dream, I was pounding on the doors in frustration trying to get into the hospital to get my treatment, but to no avail. It was honestly the scariest dream I ever had, but I'm laughing as I type this right now because of how unrealistic it really was. I just need to calm down because there has been so many unknowns that I would love to have answered, but only time will answer them. My biggest fear is that the chemo will not work on my tumor, but I can't be thinking like that. The doctors said that I could see results after my next cycle of chemo, and I pray to God that I do. I want this tumor that I have named Jimmy to die already.


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