This last cycle was definitely worse than the first, and the big difference was the level of nausea I experienced. I had a really tough time with it. I threw up three times this cycle. I'm mostly struggling with anticipatory nausea, but the nausea I experienced throughout the day was a bit worse than last time too. For those of you unaware what anticipatory nausea is, it is basically what you would think it would be. It's nausea caused by psychological conditioning. For example, back when I took chemo five years ago I hated taking the drug, Mesna (which is a drug prescribed to guard against bladder damage from chemotherapy). It would give me a horrible taste and smell sensation. After taking it a few times I eventually became nauseous just thinking about taking it, and it would get even worse as I was about to take it. I have struggled with this way more with my current regimen. The Irinotecan tastes so bad, even mixed with cranberry juice, and the Temozolomide pills make me gag even if it sits on my tongue for a split second. I'm having a tough time writing this post right now. I almost had to pull over my car one day when I was talking to my mom on the phone about taking the chemo the night before. There are so many triggers for the nausea this time. Like the purple gloves I put on to dispense the drugs, the cranberry juice, the time of day, the plastic cups, and of course the smell and taste of the drugs themselves. On the first day I'm able to get through it without much trouble, but on days 2-5, when I'm already nauseous from the day before, it is a real struggle. Adding to my already bad anxiety is the immense fear of throwing up my meds after taking them. Two out of the five days this cycle I threw up prior to taking my chemo. The anxiety and nausea was just too much. I do have to say that those days ended up being the easiest to take the chemo, but throwing up before I take my chemo every-time is not a good strategy at all.
This is obviously a huge problem considering I'm doing all oral chemo. There are two things I could try to help.
One is to switch the drugs handling my side effects. This cycle I'm switching up my anti-nausea drugs because no matter how I tried taking them it didn't seem to do anything at all. Like on day five I didn't take any anti-nausea meds and it seemed only a little bit worse than with them. For the anticipatory nausea I'll be taking Ativan about an hour before taking the chemo. That'll help with anxiety as well as nausea. I'll also be taking Marinol for the nausea throughout the day. Marinol is stronger than Zofran and Compazine so this should be better.
A more drastic solution is to switch to IV chemo. I have seen many other people have to do this because of the issues I'm facing now, but hopefully that won't be me. That will take up a lot of my time. I think I will feel like a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders if I do end up switching to IV though.
A few positives are that I didn't have any problem with diarrhea, and my blood counts were stable from the last cycle. I only took the Healios supplement once this time because it was triggering my nausea, but I guess I didn't need it anyway.
This Thursday is Thanksgiving and I start chemo on Wednesday night. I'm leaving for Pennsylvania tomorrow, so I'll be able to rest on Wednesday prior to taking the drugs. This cycle I was worn out before it started due to adjusting back to work. I think I'll have more of a fighting chance this cycle if I'm better rested.
I had a CT scan last Monday, but I haven't received any results yet. I'll give you an update on that in my next post.
I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.
2 Cycles Down, 6 To Go!
